inner wild therapy

breathe dearheart, breathe

Archives (page 10 of 15)

Cup half full? Great! ———–> Next question: blank piece of paper – intimidating or exciting?

Where are you at with the whole ‘blank canvas’ of your life thing?

Given that we can have the power to change everything in our lives moment to moment, the present is a continuous blank canvas for our future – or if you prefer, (and today I do) a blank sheet of paper.

Quite suddenly the blank piece of paper becomes a metaphor for your life.

I admit to occasionally feeling intimidated by blank white paper. Especially if it’s fancy laid paper, watermarked, letterhead or handmade paper.

On analysis, I realise this happens when I’m feeling either fearful, creatively overwhelmed/bottle-necked or remembering that a tree died to make that beautiful blank, smooth whiteness.

How can you dare break the serene silence of whiteness if you don’t feel you can make the paper any more lovely that it already is?

Strangely, my dumbness is overcome by A2 and A1 pads of paper. I LOVE those. With their maxi size and lots of leaves, I feel giddy with freedom. I always use huge pads for mind-mapping and big ideas, (of course).

When I’m feeling confident, filled with prosperity consciousness and I am holding a pen I like to write with and there’s a sentence in my mind that must be captured and contained on a sheet of A4 paper, not via my computer keyboard, I thrill to the blankness.

I guess a lot of people don’t take much notice of a blank piece of paper. It’s the same with most things we use every day, yet these tiny things can be incisively indicative of our general attitude. As humans, the potential of tiny things tends to get overlooked as we turn our heads to the glitzy sparkly BIG thing over there, we can’t help ourselves.

But wait! To redeem us all there is at least one, rare individual who is divinely inspired by blank A4 paper. Peter Callesen not only turns something 2D into something 3D, he inspires us all by creating delicate majesty with his imagination, A4 paper, glue and a blade. He also has these glorious words to say about it all:

“I find the A4 sheet of paper interesting to work with, because it is probably the most common and consumed media and format for carrying information today, and in that sense it is something very loaded. This means that we rarely notice the actual materiality of the A4 paper.

“By removing all the information and starting from scratch using the blank white 80gsm A4 paper as a base for my creations, I feel that I have found a material which we all are able to relate to, and at the same time is non-loaded and neutral and therefore easier to fill with different meanings. The thin white paper also gives the paper sculptures a fragility which underlines the tragic and romantic theme of the works.”

Ah, Peter, you are SO very fine!

Thank you for demonstrating how something humble, something ordinary like a blank piece of paper, can become remarkably extraordinary. Just like us.

Images borrowed from Peter Callesen.

Surrender freelancer

Surrendering. Ah. Feels like floating, yes?

As a freelancer, you are most successful when you surrender to the natural flow of work and opportunities.

Leaving full-time employment is like throwing yourself out of a confining, separating boat into the flowing river of life, the universe and everything.

You can be overwhelmed and scared. Terrified of drowning. Or you can practice non-resistance – relax, float, tread water, be supported by unseen under-currents when you feel yourself sinking, make like a fish and swim fast, and always, be the one who decides when you’ll head for land to rest up a while.

And you must rest and not fret when work is quiet. You need to snatch intense moments of ‘stolen time’ when a project falls through or is postponed, your diary is suddenly blank, your meeting canceled. This is so important in maintaining the momentum of your successful flow.

Worrying about a lack of work during quiet times is a fast-track to burn-out as well as a self-fulfilling prophecy (see, YOU really are in charge!). You must allow yourself to fill your reserve tank of energy and inspiration when your workload drops. You must give yourself permission to cut loose and rest so you can crank up fast for the, (again, often sudden) times when you’re a dynamo of getting-stuff-done.

The more you surrender to this external force, the less tired you will be fighting it and the more energy you’ll have to work it. It doesn’t take long to find yourself ‘in flow’, trust in the process, and then – wow! – you’re living life on your own terms, contributing in a valuable way and feeling fulfilled.

You look around and your vision is not limited by the hard edges of a boat but marked only by your very own boundary – the line where water meets land. in the wide rivers and vast oceans of freelancing possibilities, this is your horizon – exactly where you want it to be.

Image borrowed from artist Sam Nagel one of a range of paintings and fine art prints available from her Etsy shop.

Fox in Box Fable

The other night I found myself in a fairy tale.

It was about a captive animal and the central character was that traditional hero, (more often anti-hero) of fables: a fox.

I don’t know about you but I can understand why foxes feature in so many traditional fairy tales.

It’s partly their wild beauty, mystery and mostly I think their bold, brazen nature towards us humans. Like their American counterparts, coyotes, foxes have adapted to city life. They refuse to be tamed, dominated, pushed out of their homes or used by us and yet live alongside us.

These howling, baying, screaming, fighting, scavenging, savage cat-dogs roam the streets, gardens and parks of the town where I live. It is a joy to hear their primal howls in the night reverberating off the sandstone tenements.

Close to midnight, I sat in my living room with the curtains of the window wide open. Outside, the back yard with its jungle of rhododendrons, holly and clematis-tangled hedges, mature oaks, beech and pine trees and various bushes and small plants was shadowy and black. I was reading and all was quiet.

Suddenly, a lithe shape at the window.

A fox stared through the glass at me.

His paws were planted in the window box and he just stood. Still. Unafraid. Staring into my eyes, his nose close to the window but not sniffing it. I stared back. I didn’t move. I expected him to flee at the sudden sight of a human like any other wild animal. But he just went on staring, at me.

He didn’t cast his eyes around to survey with curiosity the room I sat in. He didn’t nervously glance behind him or check his footing was firm. He just stared and stared into my eyes for endless seconds. Such a long time.

His absolute wildness made him unfathomable to me. Deeply unrecognisable. His wildness was both alarming and alluring. We held each other’s stare, and hopefully mine was as unjudgemental as his, then he was gone. I didn’t even see him move. He was just gone.

How remarkable. How gloriously extraordinary. To sit on my sofa in my living room in the city and have a fox in my window box stare in at me.

I, the zoo-hater, in my little enclosure.

“Little Fox Prince” image borrowed from Melissa Nucera, one of a series of fine art prints available from her This Year’s Girl deviantArt shop and Etsy shop.

Post Script: “The Fox in Animal Symbolism” – artist BeccasMuses very thoughtfully sent me this wonderful link on Twitter. I’m very grateful. Hope you like it too.

Normal or happy ———> what’s it gonna be?

Jeanette Winterson, author of “Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit” has a wonderful story about normal versus happy.

I heard her tell this story during a book club show on the radio a few weeks ago. She told it with great love and good humour.

Several decades ago when she was sixteen Ms Winterson told her conservative, hard-working, Northern English mother mother she was gay.  She said she was gay and that it made her happy.

Her mother replied, completely seriously and with love and concern, “But Jeanette! Why be happy when you can be NORMAL!?”

It’s easy to see why her mum, a woman of the Depression and War Generation, might feel sticking your head above the parapet of normality might not be a good idea. Having experienced the damage to people and society that WW2 caused, she may have felt it was important to protect those you loved to the extent of not wanting them to be different and therefore a potential target. Keep them safe, even if it meant suppressing who they were.

It’s strange really that this mentality seems to have continued through to the present day, an entirely different era with different kinds of threats and risks.

It seems no small number of individuals value the ‘safe’ facade of ‘normality’ and ‘fitting-in’ over self-realisation. There’s a different kind of war going on in the 2000’s with more subversive yet just as emotionally-devastating casualties for our society.

When people wrap their essential uniqueness up in the pretence of a perception of ‘normality’ they don’t just deprive themselves of happiness, they deprive the rest of us of their individual expression of human-ness.

So fear not weird one. Be different. Go on. Make the world a happier place.

Image borrowed from Willow Creek Signs from a selection of home decor vinyl lettering designs.

The freakishly simple way to have what your heart desires

It’s taken Drew Barrymore of all unexpected people, (much as I admire her) to help something gel in my mind.

How do people get to do amazing things? How come that person got to do that thing that I, oh so wistfully, wished for?

Why does it seem so freakishly simple for some people to have what they want?

Is there a secret ‘in-road’? As it happens there is. It’s called asking. All you do is A-S-K!

I’m a person who still finds it challenging to ask for what I want. So I was delighted to read a recent interview with darling Drew Barrymore wherein she said her success was partly due to having the courage to ask for things.

For example, she fancied being on the cover of Vogue magazine. Unlike most people who might sit and wait and wait and hope and hope that their phone might one day ring and their little side-hustle dream-come-true, Ms Barrymore wrote to Anna Wintour, editor at American Vogue and ASKED to be on the cover.

Yup, she asked.

I love that. It’s so empowering. So simple.

I hear another limiting belief of mine tinkle into tiny pieces.

“I just don’t think that things magically happen” said Ms Barrymore. “I think the writing [of a letter] is so proactive and a great way to take a stance in fighting for the things you want.

“Look: I have all these burning passions and desires, I’d really like to make this happen, and I know you don’t have ESP, so me sitting here scrunching up my eyes and hoping, hoping, hoping probably isn’t going to do much.”

I don’t think it has ever occurred to me that the amazing things that happen to people might have happened because they asked. Asked! Such a tiny word.

And yet I am sure lots of people – I’m thinking various forms of the casting-couch scenario, for instance – have skipped this first, simple step.

So thanks Ms Barrymore. I am now going to not only write things down for myself but write things TO people. Put a stamp on it and not just thereby action it but tangibly ship it – (as Seth Godin says, “One key element of a successful artist: ship. Get it out the door. Make things happen“).

Image, ‘Growing Human Heart’ from a selection of prints on paper and fabric available to buy from The Utilitarian Franchise, San Francisco. Thanks for making the world more beautiful.